Prepare for the Apocalypse!

A few daysago I watched a report on German television. It was about people who werestockpiling and taking precautions for the impending crisis a.k.a apocalypse. Iwas surprised to see how many online shops had specialized on emergencysupplies, especially since the start of the Euro crisis.

I have toadmit that the report raised a smile on my face. I guess I’m just not someonewho worries about the future – which I realize is funny considering I writedystopian fiction. In The Other Life, Sherry and her family have to live in abunker for years and wouldn’t have survived without their provisions, afterall...

 But eventhough I won’t start stocking our basement with survival equipment, I thought Ishouldn’t keep the most important items for the apocalypse (according to thereport and survival shops) from you.

1. Get ridof your money

Yes, youread that right. Our money will lose in value. So if you insist on hanging ontoyour paper money, the only thing it’ll be good for in the near future will befor keeping a fire going. Yep. That’s what I learned on websites and in thereport. What you can do? Buy gold. Apparently gold won’t lose its value. Sothere. But do not hide the gold in your house. Scavengers will find it and killyou for it. Instead bury it in your backyard and don’t forget to bury othermetal stuff too, so the scavengers with their metal detectors will have a hardtime finding your gold supply. I hope for your sake that your memory is betterthan that of squirrels. They only find about 25% of the nuts they dig into theground.

2. Foodsupply

If you wantto survive the apocalypse you need food supplies in your basement. Better yetin your own private bunker. Of course you can’t take fresh vegetables and fruitwith you. They won’t last for years. The solution: Dehydrated and dried food.It doesn’t take as much space as fresh products and it’s nonperishable. If youthink you’ll have to eat the same thing for the remainder of your existence,you’re wrong. Apparently you can get almost anything in powder or dehydratedform.

Wantchocolate mousse while the rest of the population gets wiped out by a snowstorm? No problem. Chili con carne, hamburger in the can, tomato soup,spaghetti with meatballs, scrambled eggs, mashed potatoes, risotto, butter andmilk pulver etc. The prepared survivalist won’t have to forgo anything.

3.Equipment

You don’twant to sit in the dark. What you need: a headlamp, batteries, crank light, flashlight,glow sticks and candles (am I the only one who’s worried about open fire in aclosed bunker?)

You’ll needa camping stove for your meals and of course a heater to keep you warm. Somedevice for water storage and purification. Vitamines and minerals. And a first-aidkit in case one of you wants to give birth in the bunker or cuts their fingersoff or some other appendage.

 This listcould go on and on.

Are youprepared for the apocalypse? Do you think I’m taking this too lightly?

(Btw, thewinner of the copy of The Other Life is brookea_2006. You’ll get an email fromme soon).